What is a relationship based on? How to create a loving relationship that will last for decades?

Glam Style
7 min readSep 20, 2022

What is important in a relationship with another person? When does a relationship not make sense? What influences the fact that some relationships last for years in happiness, while others are a few months or even a few days adventure? What qualities and behaviors positively affect relationships, and which ones do the opposite? What is a relationship based on? I will answer these and all other questions below.

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Since time immemorial, people have been pairing up and trying to form a happy relationship together. It’s not that the whole world has been lumped into the rule that you have to have a partner or mate. Although in recent years it has become popular to be single or single women. Rather, it’s the result of being aware of and escaping toxic relationships and waiting for the really right person. The world of singles very often boils down to meeting new people, but this is not synonymous with pairing up right away. It’s just the way we are made and created, that we often need another person. Not only to have a nice time and to have support and help in someone, but mainly to be able to do something for your partner or partner. Many people feel an inner need to help and interact.

Another thing is that the unwritten rules of the functioning of societies somewhat exert pressure to necessarily match into these couples…. Sometimes if the pressure is really high, we don’t make good decisions in choosing a partner. We don’t listen to ourselves, whether we want to be with someone at all or with whom specifically. Often relatives, parents or grandparents mercilessly state that “it’s the last call”. This often urges some people and they feel that they actually have a problem, because at their age one “should” have a partner. Very often this is an opinion dictated by old schematic and stereotypical thinking. In the days when our parents and grandparents were young, people got married very quickly, barely knowing adult life, because this was the trend in society. Nowadays, this has changed and people decide to take serious steps a little later. We do not judge which is better. Simply put, everyone should do as they feel. And what is a relationship actually about?

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What is a relationship based on? Trust, or a solid foundation

A mature relationship should not be based on orders and compulsions, but on unforced desire. What does this mean? Two people should not feel pressure from their other half, for example, to get together. If you put pressure on the other person, you may increase the chances of a meeting one time, while in the long run it may turn into a toxic “relationship of obligation” rather than one based on sincere, positive feelings. Of course, a proposal to go out together is not a bad thing, but you can’t reproach someone if it didn’t happen. Everything must be based on sincere wishes to spend time together, then the chances of survival of such a relationship increase. Among other things, such an approach characterizes partnerships.

This is where the trust mentioned earlier comes in. We need to trust the other person that he or she actually wants to spend time with us and does so with pleasure. Trust removes from relationships the morbid jealousy that is often the cause of relationship breakdowns. We trust each other and don’t have to explain what we did before, who we saw, but if we want to talk about our day or week, we simply do it.

It’s also not enough to say “we trust ourselves” and things will start to fall into place. Sometimes it takes time and hard work on ourselves to do that.

Another important relationship foundation is not taking advantage of someone’s trust. One big mistake in this case can shatter even several years of work on the relationship. If someone believes in your good intentions, this should be appreciated and respected, because in addition to the unpleasant result, which may be the end of the friendship, insincere behavior or lies can very negatively affect the other person for years to come, and certainly people in a relationship do not have bad intentions and do not want to hurt their chosen heart. At least in theory, because of course in life things happen differently, but most of us just want a happy life together.

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What is a relationship based on? Chemistry, without which it’s hard to have a relationship

When two people get to know each other and spend time together, the factor that influences them to want to continue such an acquaintance is very often the feeling that is born in them. At first it’s hard to talk about love, because it’s a very mature and serious state, although there are probably such cases. On the other hand, there is infatuation, or so-called “butterflies in the stomach”. It is a pleasant kind of stress and excitement at the thought of the other person. We are happy in the presence of our partner and see the very superlatives of this person. We look at the world a bit through rose-colored glasses during this period. It is a beautiful time that is a great start to a successful relationship.

However, it is important to remember that it does not guarantee a happy relationship. On the other hand, in case these positive emotions and feelings are missing from the very beginning, it is a red warning light that something is definitely wrong. Perhaps this is not the person and there is no point in going on, or due to unpleasant experiences, it is you who is blocked to a new relationship? There could be a many of reasons.

The second very important feeling in a relationship is sexual attraction. Of course, it’s not the most important, and it’s not what real relationships are built on. On the other hand, it’s probably hard for any of us to imagine forming a relationship with someone we don’t like? It is not only beauty and physical appearance that can affect whether we like someone or not. There are also personality traits, skills, style of being, tone of voice and many, many other factors.

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What is a relationship based on? A healthy relationship through honest conversation

Problems and differences always arise in any relationship and at different stages. Whether it’s in family, colleague, business or relationships. Everyone is different, brought up differently and may think in different ways. The basis for good functioning is conversation. In turn, it is based on two things — talking and listening.

You should solve problems and disputes by speaking your mind in a non-imposing way, but you also need to listen to the other side and be open about what they are communicating to you. Maybe you are actually wrong and should be let go? Maybe it’s worth looking at the issue from the other side? This is difficult and can often bite into a person’s character, but it is worth working on, as it greatly affects relationships at various levels of life in society.

Lack of frank conversation and silent topics can give the least expected moment.

Empathy can be the key in creating a relationship

Highly developed empathy is the ability to empathize with someone’s emotions, understand their situation and behavior. Scientifically, it is the ability to feel other people’s mental states. If someone is a highly empathetic person, it will probably be much easier for him to form a relationship. If the two of you have this trait, this is already half the battle! It will allow you to choose behaviors and words in such a way as not to hurt your loved one. It will also help you understand why someone reacted nervously, for example, or didn’t feel like talking. An empathetic person will not get offended just point out that something may have happened, for example, in the work of a loved one or a loved one, which influenced some of her negative reaction.

Empathy towards another person is always a beautiful behavior. On the other hand, while honing this trait in yourself, try to also never forget what you feel and in parallel also be empathetic towards yourself and your feelings or states.

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