Red flags in a relationship: 5 signals that should trigger your vigilance
Red flags in a relationship are most often not immediately apparent. In the beginning, as a rule, everything looks beautiful. But what happens when the butterflies in your stomach go away and in their place are more and more alarm signals? We will tell you which of your partner’s behaviors you should not ignore.
Red flags in a relationship — we often hear this phrase, but what exactly is behind it? Below you’ll find a list of the most common (and alarming) behaviors that are a sign that the relationship may be working against you.
Red flags in the union: 5 alarm signals
Subtle comments
There are many (often seemingly harmless) behaviors behind this buzzword. Sly, petty remarks about your weaknesses, constant comparisons of you to ex-partners, constant criticism and humiliation (sometimes in a very clever way), taking advantage (in various ways) of his or her better financial situation — sound familiar? If so, first try to set boundaries and talk openly about your concerns with your partner. These subtle, passive-aggressive behaviors can really hurt your self-esteem and even lead to depression. In a situation where an honest conversation has no effect, be aware that these behaviors will continue and, often, intensify. This is a good time to think about the future of the relationship…
Sweet Little Lies
Do you often catch your partner lying? Whether it’s about trivial matters or fundamental ones, this kind of behaviour shows the immaturity of the other person. It can have a very negative effect on your relationship and make you stop believing in his or her good and honest intentions. There will be uncertainty about your future together, which can be very destructive to your relationship. It’s not easy to build a relationship with someone you don’t trust, and it’s a very long and arduous process to earn someone’s trust again.
Constantly in control
Constant scrutiny and morbid jealousy are some of the most common reasons for breakups. No wonder — you can’t build a relationship with someone who regularly checks your phone or expects you to explain every minute of your life. More fights because a waiter looked at you in a restaurant or a friend asked how you were? If you care about your social life, the toxic person may see this as some form of threat. Trying to lock you in a golden cage is then the most common solution the toxic person tries to put in place. Very short-term. In such moments, it is worth considering what is the basis of the other person’s lack of trust (even more so if you have never let him/her down so far). You can also suggest to her that she starts therapy. You can’t have a happy relationship if the foundation is jealousy and constant attempts at control.
Escape
… or a few words about COMMUNICATION. Without it — of course in a mature version — even the coolest duo is doomed to failure. Most conflicts arise from the inability to express one’s needs or discuss difficult issues. Respect, honesty and openness are the keys to success. So if a problem arises in your relationship and the other person runs away from it, it doesn’t bode well. Relax — communication in a relationship can be learned! However, it requires a lot of willingness and commitment.
Only once
No. If you have been pushed, hit or otherwise physically abused even once in your life, be sure it will happen again. Don’t blame it on a bad day, a one-time binge, alcohol, or anything else, and get out of there. The first time is where it starts. It’s the beginning of the end, the crossing of an impassable boundary that can’t be undone.
Red flags in a relationship: emotional abuse
Research shows that emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse. It’s easy to lose objectivity when high levels of commitment and strong feelings are involved. If you see the situations described above (or similar situations) occurring in your relationship, it’s certainly a good idea to consult with someone about your concerns, as well as share your thoughts about the relationship with a loved one. This will allow you to look at the situation a little more objectively. After all, it is often the case that our family or friends really do see more. If most of them are of the opinion that this relationship is not serving you, why not listen to their arguments instead of getting upset when they don’t say what you would like to hear? Although it is not easy, in a situation where you are affected by violence from your partner, it is best to protect yourself and cut off the aggressor/aggressor as soon as possible. Certainly then the support of loved ones and therapy will be helpful.
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