Indifference in a relationship. How to overcome it? — It’s a signal that the relationship needs to change or end.

Glam Style
7 min readMay 8, 2022

Indifference towards our other half is not associated with very positive associations. No wonder: lack of commitment to the relationship, coldness, lack of physical contact and boredom — these are just some of the things that an unhealthy emotional distance created between partners can lead to. Where does indifference in a relationship come from? How can we fight it?

Photo by Andre Furtado:

Can indifference in a relationship be necessary?

Creating a life with another person is quite a challenge. No wonder: you are actually two independent entities who have decided to find a way to plan their path together. Long-term relationships are governed by their own laws, and partners’ lives are usually interspersed with better and worse periods. Unfortunately, there is no chance of finding the perfect partner: each of us has flaws and personality elements that can trigger negative emotions in other people. The same is true in relationships. No matter how much we love someone, certain behaviors can bring us out of balance. What should we do in these situations? Is it helpful to create a degree of indifference in the relationship?

Remember that you don’t have to agree with your partner on every issue to create a happy relationship. Creating a gentle emotional distance from conflicting situations can be very healthy, especially for highly sensitive people who tend to overanalyze every situation that doesn’t go their way. However, there is a big difference between creating a healthy distance and escalating indifference that causes you and your partner to begin to drift apart.

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What can indifference in a relationship stem from?

When you feel that you and your partner have begun to drift apart, you begin to wonder what caused it. Good for you: the sooner you discover the source of the problem, the better the chance that you and your partner can solve it together. What is the cause of indifference in a relationship?

1. Doubts in the relationship

Sometimes one partner has doubts about the relationship they are in for a long time, and instead of talking about them with their other half, they begin to distance themselves. This is a common mechanism in male-female relationships. One of the people for several months, gradually creates indifference in himself, and only then ends the relationship.

2. Relationship burnout

Creating a happy, long-term relationship requires active commitment from both partners. Unfortunately, sometimes we forget this, and our relationship begins to burn out. Boredom, lack of physical contact and affection, and little time spent together are a quick way to create indifference towards your partner.

3. Strained trust

If there has been dishonesty, lying, or betrayal in your relationship and your partner has been the wronged party in the situation, he or she may have a disturbed sense of security and a problem rebuilding trust. Often in these situations, the abused person subconsciously distances themselves from the partner who harmed them.

4. Stressful situations and past traumas

Each of us reacts differently to stressful events. If your partner has encountered problems in life or experienced a traumatic situation, their way of dealing with their emotions may be to create distance, including from you and your relationship.

5. Romance

Unfortunately, it often happens that our partner is indifferent towards us because he has already found another person to whom he gives his attention. It is possible that in his mind he has been planning a breakup for some time and emotionally distances himself from your relationship.

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How to overcome indifference in a relationship?

Persisting in a relationship where instead of closeness with your partner, you feel that you are distancing yourself from him or her can have unpleasant consequences on your psyche. Indifference in a relationship can effectively deprive you of energy and will to act. How to fight it? There are 5 ways that can help you rebuild your relationship!

1. Healthy communication

Learn how to talk to your partner. We know that if you feel like you’re distant, it can be hard to open up to him or her, but remember that honest communication is the foundation of a successful relationship. Try to tell your partner about your concerns, but try not to take an offensive attitude when doing so. Instead of outlining his or her abusive behavior, focus on how you feel and how you would like to work on repairing the relationship. Remember that fighting indifference will require active involvement from both parties.

2. Time spent together

Indifference between partners often stems from a loss of closeness, which can be the aftermath of a lack of time spent together. We’re not talking about just being around your partner, or having two separate lives under one roof. There should be room in every relationship for what we call “quality time,” meaning engaging in interesting, worthwhile, or growing activities together. You don’t have to have one hobby or passion in common, but it is important that you do something fun together from time to time. A cooking course? Wine tasting? A movie marathon together? What you choose depends on your own preferences, but make sure it’s an activity that both of you enjoy. Remind each other that you can have fun together!

3. Change of environment

Sometimes indifference can result from the fact that boredom has crept into your relationship. Unfortunately, its periods affect most long-term relationships because in the rush of daily problems and responsibilities, we can lose the strength or desire to actively engage in the relationship. If you feel that your relationship is experiencing a period of stagnation and you and your partner have started to drift apart, try organizing a short getaway just for the two of you. It doesn’t have to be an exotic vacation right away. Just change your surroundings and spend some time together. This will help rebuild your closeness and bonding, plus it will give you both a break and give you new energy when you get back!

4. Taking a break from the relationship

We know this isn’t an option for everyone, due to possible work or housing commitments, but sometimes the best way to fight indifference is a short separation. When we’re in a long-term relationship, sometimes we can feel overwhelmed by everyday life, and subconsciously blame our relationship for it. A break from a rigid relationship can help us gain distance from relationship issues, and make us miss our partner’s presence in our lives, and begin to appreciate it more.

5. Couples therapy

Unfortunately, sometimes no matter how hard we try, we won’t be able to save our relationship on our own. If the feelings between you and your partner have weakened, you can’t come to an agreement, but you feel it’s worth continuing to fight for the relationship, it’s worth trying to talk to a professional. Couples psychotherapy is one of the best ways to repair your relationship, and an experienced psychologist or sexologist will look at your problems with an objective eye and help you overcome them.

Photo by Arthur Brognoli:

Can indifference in a relationship be a signal that it is worth ending such a relationship?

In relationships as in life, sometimes we experience highs and sometimes we experience lows. If you feel that your relationship is going through a period of stagnation, first ask yourself if there is a specific reason for it. Are either of you at this point in a very stressful or exhausting period of your lives? Has something happened between you that may have caused your partner to distance himself emotionally? If the indifference lasts for a short period of time and you know what it is caused by, try talking to your partner about it. It’s common for someone to close themselves off from another person because they can’t deal with their own problems. Honest communication, understanding, and empathy toward your partner can help you get through a tougher time in your relationship.

However, if you see that your partner shows no desire to repair the relationship, does not want to talk to you or actively fight for the relationship, it may be that the best solution is to break up. You may associate the end of a relationship with instability, sadness, and a disturbed sense of security, but keep in mind that staying in a relationship without a future, in the long run, can do you much more harm.

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