First date — read and increase your chances of success!
A first date doesn’t always mean success, but almost everyone knows a couple who met online, and that’s promising. What can go wrong, and what should you pay attention to in order to tip the scales in your favor?
Today we meet each other on the Internet. We use dating portals, social media have become the main arena of our search for a life partner. We meet someone, it starts to spark and what happens next? We have to finally get out of the virtual world and check how our imaginations will clash with reality. We suggest what can influence date good or bad course — tips useful for both men and women.
A popular dating site asked questions about this first date in real life, and then analyzed the answers collected from almost three thousand of its users. Let’s start with who decides to move the meeting from the net to a cafe table at all. The least courageous are…the youngest. Only every second 18-year-old does it, and such a tendency lasts — regardless of gender — until the age of 24. Then we get more and more willing to go beyond the screen of a laptop or a cell phone. Research has shown that those of us between the ages of 25 and 54 have the most courage.
Thus, the real date! Excitement rises, and with it come nerves. After all, both parties want to perform at their best. Meanwhile, the first meeting can be a cold shower for a potential relationship. Researchers have ruthlessly determined that it takes only thirty minutes to figure out whether you want to continue or call it quits. What can go wrong?
There is good news for those doubting their beauty. Nearly half of all people surveyed indicated that personality traits, not looks, were the most important. So if you usually hide behind a social media filter and run your photos through a photo editing app, don’t lose hope — there are worse offenses.
Another online service, which surveyed nearly one and a half thousand of its users, comes with hints as to what bothers us the most when it comes to continuing an acquaintance. Let’s take a look at women’s answers. Why didn’t they go on another date after the first one? Almost 40 percent said lack of culture. We don’t want to be questioned about differences in worldview or health status. There’s still time for that.
“At one point I felt like I was participating in Keeneland Sales, only I myself was one of the horses chosen at the auction. Good thing Frank didn’t look into my teeth.” — jokes in a discussion on one of the social networks Julia, who assessed that during this first meeting she was clearly undergoing a test for the future mother of children. — “Maybe he wanted to be thoughtful by asking me all these medical questions, but it was crossing the line. There will not be another date.”
In second place of reasons for running as far away as possible from a fairly promising relationship was erotic bragging by a potential partner. Thirty percent of those surveyed were allergic to it. We don’t want to hear about past loves or sexual conquests:
“It’s embarrassing, intimidating, out of place” — were the responses in the anonymous survey. — “Sure, sex is incredibly important in a good relationship, but I think we’re all a little afraid of the idea that a Tinder date is all about sex.” — writes Sophia on the forum of the couples’ connection portal. — “Bringing the first meeting in real life to talk about what you can do in bed and what kind of flicks you can do is a really bad idea.” — she emphasizes.
Third place on the anti-podium list was taken by lack of hygiene. It was indicated by as many as thirteen percent. It’s hard to believe that in this day and age this can still be an issue for some. They listed overgrown fingernails, greasy hair, sweaty clothes, and worst of all, a terrible smell.
“He had yellow nails.” — recounts a girl nicknamed ‘Nikimi’ on the forum. — “When he saw that I couldn’t take my eyes off his hand, he started explaining that he had been peeling oranges all day. He even made me laugh with that and then wanted to kiss me. That didn’t go over well…anyway, I was quickly hit with the sour stench of digested cigarettes.”
Nikimi, however, decided to give the boy a second chance. — “I used to smoke pot myself and I know how hard it is to stop. And John admitted he’s already had four failed attempts. Our relationship gaining momentum was another motivation for him to change.” — she described.
“I shared with him my experiences with quitting cigarettes. I had read that the worst thing about them was the smoke and tar that is produced when we inhale. I was terrified that this toxic mess would build up in my lungs, and I didn’t want health problems. In addition, I could see my reflection in the mirror… I could see how much my face, hair and… teeth had changed. So I finally decided to take my friends’ recommendation — I swapped the cigarette for a tobacco warmer.” — she explains. “Admittedly, I have not managed to completely break the habit, I’m still in it, but at least I can finally smell my perfume and not the stench of the “ashtray”. Besides, there is no smoke in these devices, and there is less of that crap than in cigarettes”. She adds, “e-cigarettes are a pretty good plan B for people like me and John who are trying, making an effort, but can’t seem to get off the cigarettes. I’m glad because we’re coming together next and together we plan to say goodbye to the addiction for good.”
We already know the three cardinal sins. What else can help at the first meeting? It is important to have something to say, but also to be able to listen, emphasized the interviewees. This attentiveness to the other person seems to be an effective key to the heart. According to researchers, true love is primarily the ability to understand each other, acceptance and tolerance. When the relationship enters a new phase, what matters is faithfulness, loyalty and trust. Social media provide unlimited opportunities to meet new people. The real world verifies acquaintances, but on this sieve many of them remain. The chances of finding a loved one are high — only two percent of those surveyed doubt the existence of true love.
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