Age difference in a relationship and its impact on the bond

Photo by Anastasiya Lobanovskaya:

Reasons for unfavorable opinions concerning relationships with large age difference

First of all, it is worth noting at the outset that “a big difference” is a subjective concept. For some people 5 years is an insurmountable barrier, for others the term “big difference” is used only after 20 years (or more) between partners. It all depends on our approach and experiences. Often it is so, that feeling blurs all boundaries and age ceases to have any meaning.

Photo by Thaís Silva:

The age difference in a relationship versus “worrying” about your loved ones

As humans we tend to worry about the future. Doubts arise. What will happen in 10 years? How will it be in old age? Does such a relationship make sense in the long run? When we start a relationship, these kinds of questions often arise in our minds.

Photo by Marcelo Chagas:

How to advise people who enter into a relationship with a large age difference?

If we are going to advise someone (only at someone’s explicit request!) or if we are a person close to the person concerned, it is worth approaching the matter with calmness and common sense. First, try to assess whether you think this relationship is based on affection, sincerity, and a healthy approach (although this is obviously difficult from the perspective of someone who is looking at the situation from the outside). If you feel that the intentions of our loved one’s partner/partner are not entirely sincere, then when asked — we can let the other party know how we feel in a gentle way.

What can age difference mean for a relationship?

There can be many reasons why you are dating a man much older or much younger. For example (although this is not necessarily the case!) girls looking for older guys may have had poor contact with their dad in the past or none at all. Then they often look for in men what they lacked in their childhood: caring, a sense of security, male support. However, this is often a matter of coincidence and it is not worth looking for any special reasons.

Does the age difference between spouses affect the causes of marital breakdown?

The most common reason for marital breakdown is character incompatibility. In 2011. 26.9% of marriages ended in divorce for this reason alone, and in the case of 8.3% of divorce trials this reason was cited as one of many. Second in importance is failure to maintain marital fidelity. 9.1% of divorces were due solely to this reason, and an additional 15.2% of marriages were divorced because failure to be faithful was one of many reasons for the breakdown of marital cohesion. Mention should also be made of alcohol abuse, as 6% of divorces were due solely to this problem and 14.2% of couples divorced because alcohol was one of a number of problems.

Photo by Vidal Balielo Jr.:
  • Failure to maintain marital fidelity as a cause of marital breakdown occurs relatively more often when the divorcing spouses are close in age or, alternatively, the wife is older than the husband. This reason appears relatively rarely when the husband is older than the wife.
  • The alcohol problem most often affects marriages in which the husband is older than the wife.
  • Another reason for relationship breakdown is the disrespectful and abusive attitude of the older husband toward his wife and other family members — this is when most marriages break up, and this problem occurs very frequently.



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